


a day off- straight from command

by zeitgeistofnow



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: But Not Much, Fluff, M/M, MORE FLUFF!!, Star Wars - Freeform, WOAH!, and a bit more minlace than canon, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-08 23:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12875247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeitgeistofnow/pseuds/zeitgeistofnow
Summary: A hair tie, property of none other than one doug eiffel, has gone missing, and everyone has a day off with nothing better to do that interrogate their coworkers- and maybe watch some star wars. or something.also, non-coffee, lieutenant eiffel's room feeds from last night, potential weapons, and maxwell's sleeping habits.(AKA the jacoffel tag is like 90% either smut or like the last three sentences of kepcobi fic, so i wanted to contribute.)





	a day off- straight from command

“Morning, Commander,” Eiffel says, holding a mug of Hilbert’s non-coffee with one hand and a plastic straw in the other. 

“Morning, Eiffel. How’s it going?”

Eiffel yawns. “Fine, fine.” He pats down his mane of hair. “Do you have a hair tie? I lost my last one a while ago-”

“Jacobi took it,” Minkowski says.

Jacobi looks up from his own non-coffee. “I did no such thing.”

“It was you or Hera, and given that Hera doesn’t have hands…”

“Or hair,” Hera adds, her voice scratching through the speaker in the wall. 

Jacobi ruffles his own too-short-to-tie-up hair. “Why would I need Eiffel’s hair tie?”

Eiffel floats over. “Maybe you needed it for Maxwell. She has long hair.” He looks suspiciously up at Jacobi, who floats higher. 

“Then why couldn’t Maxwell get it herself?” Jacobi raises his eyebrows. “Checkmate,” he says, looking down at Eiffel and grinning. 

Minkowski blinks tiredly. “Maybe because  _ you  _ were the one in Lieutenant Eiffel's quarters last night?”

Eiffel sips his not-coffee through the straw, looking at Jacobi. Jacobi looks flustered. “Why would I have taken a  _ hair tie _ ?”

The commander straightens. “Because Maxwell needed one.”

“She didn’t need anything of the kind, she brought like 65-”

He turns to look at Lovelace, standing in the doorway. “Morning, assholes,” she yawns. “What’s the plan for today?”

Jacobi looks at her suspiciously. “We’re looking for Doug’s missing hair tie.”

Lovelace runs her fingers through her hair. “Haven’t seen it. Have you asked Maxwell?”

“She’s asleep.”

“Of course she’s asleep.” Lovelace rolls her eyes. “She’s always asleep when we’re looking for a culprit.”

“Captain,” Hera pipes. “She was up late last night helping me with something. She probably is asleep.”

Lovelace eyes the speaker. “Late-late, or ‘10 o’clock’ late.”

“L-late-late,” Hera confirms. 

Eiffel throws up his hands. “Then who could have-” he spins around slowly, drinking his not-coffee and thinking. Then he stops on his heel, grabbing ahold of Jacobi for balance. “Kepler.”

“Kepler,” Jacobi repeats, sounding unimpressed. 

“He’s been locked up for a month, Eiffel. How could it be him?” Lovelace says.

“Who else could it have been?”

“Oh, I don’t know, the Doctor?”

“Why would  _ Hilbert  _ want my hair tie?” Eiffel slings an arm around Jacobi’s shoulder. “His hair isn’t any longer than the Commander’s.”

Everyone turns to examine Minkowski’s hair, and she sighs. “Well, you can look for the hair tie for as long as you want. You all have a day off today, straight from command, unless an emergency otherwise dictates.”

“And there’s no way  _ that  _ could happen,” Eiffel says, his head on Jacobi’s shoulder. Jacobi grins.

“Regardless, enjoy the few hours you have. Drink some coffee. Read. Watch a movie.” Minkowski wanders out of the room, bouncing off counters- and Lovelace- to get to the door. 

Lovelace lingers. “Soo, what’s the plan?”

“We could play Funzo-” Hera suggest.

“How about no,” Lovelace finger combs her hair and pulls it back. “Command left us some movies, didn’t they?”

Eiffel raises his eyebrows. “Three.”

“Which ones?”

“Hairspray, the fourth Star Wars movie, and that one with the mice and pumpkin.” Eiffel counts them off on his fingers. 

“C-cinderella,” Hera supplies. 

Lovelace sighs. “Who here hasn’t seen the other Star Wars Movies? Raise your hands.”

No one raises their hands. 

“People without hands?” Eiffel adds.

“I was wondering if anyone would notice.” Hera makes a throat-clearing noise. “Well, I’ve never s-seen  _ any  _ movies.”

There’s a pause. 

“Oh yeah,” Jacobi mutters. 

Eiffel floats away from Jacobi, toward the door. “It doesn't matter. The fourth is essentially the first if we’re going in order of how they were made, which we sometimes are. If you wanna see Han Solo blow up some ships, come with me.”

Lovelace follows, murmuring under her breath about how ships blowing up is a bit close to home, and Jacobi is right behind her, reassuring her that they’re nongraphic and impersonal.

They watch the movie in the comms room, Eiffel griping about the lack of couches in the station. 

“It’d look unprofessional, Eiffel.”

“But it’d be comfortable, Captain.”

Lovelace scoffs. “Do you think command cares about our comfort?”

“Well, maybe!”

Lovelace raises her voice. “They left us here to die!”

“They still care about appearances!”

“Shhhh.” Jacobi puts a finger to Eiffel’s lips. “I’m watching the movie.”

Eiffel slouches into Jacobi. Lovelace grins triumphantly. 

“And besides,” she whispers, “the couch would float around.”

Jacobi glares at her halfheartedly. “They could bolt it to the floor.”

Eiffel nods enthusiastically and pecks Jacobi’s cheek. “Yeah! What he said!”

“It’s useless.”

“Not really.”

“It’s a hypothetical weapon,” Lovelace insists.

Jacobi grins widely. “Everything’s a hypothetical weapon if you use it correctly.”

Eiffel nods again. “What what he- no. No, not what he said.”

Lovelace laughs, and they sit in silence for a while, Eiffel nuzzling Jacobi’s shoulder.

Then Eiffel stands up, halfway through the movie, obscuring Han Solo’s rescue of Leia. Jacobi squawks in protest, but Eiffel stands his ground. “Okay, seriously, which of you stole my hair tie?”

Jacobi blinks and Lovelace shifts forward.

“What makes you so sure it was one of us?”

“None of the others have an incentive.”

Jacobi throws up his hands. “And I do?”

“No,” Eiffel admits, “But you had an opportunity.”

“I didn’t take your hair tie, Doug.”

Lovelace shakes her head. “I didn’t, either. I’ve been using Maxwell’s pretty consistently.”

Jacobi points at her. “How would you feel about me telling her that?”

“Negatively. I might have to ask Minkowski to assign you to repairs.”

The room's door opens and Minkowski floats in. “Assign who where?”

“Oh, assign no one nowhere, Commander,” Jacobi says quickly. 

Minkowski settles on the back of Lovelace’s chair. “Any luck with the hair tie search, Eiffel?”

“Nope, nothing, Commander-”

Maxwell shuffles into the room, rubbing her eyes and chewing on the end of a pencil. “Morning, Hera, Jacobi,” she greets, “and everyone else, too.”

“Morning.” Jacobi raises a hand in greeting. 

“Good morning Maxwell- can I see your hair tie?”

Maxwell furrows her brow. “...Sure?”

Jacobi floats over and grabs it, holding it up. “Is this-?”

“I can’t  _ see  _ it, sweetheart.” Doug bounces, floating over. “Yup,” he confirms, “That is most definitely, ab-so-lute-ly, my hair tie.”

Lovelace and Minkowski narrow their eyes. “Why do you have his hair tie?” They say in unison, then glance at each other. Lovelace chuckles. 

“It was in my and Jacobi’s quarters. I took it when he…” she pauses discreetly, “left last night.”

Doug turns on Jacobi, jumping so that he’s at eye level with him. “Why was my hair tie in your and Maxwell’s quarters?”

Jacobi puts an arm on Eiffel’s shoulder, pushing him back down so that his feet are resting on the floor. “I don’t know.”

Minkowski and Lovelace exchange glances and start laughing again. 

Everyone else turns to look at them. 

“C-commander? Captain? What’s funny?” Hera asks.

“We- we stole the hair tie.”

Doug frowns. “Why?”

Lovelace throws up her hand. “We were bored last night. There wasn’t anything happening. We had checked up on Kepler at least seven times.”

“We wanted to see if we could steal from you while you were in your room. And besides, we didn’t want all of you getting bored today. We thought a mystery would entertain you for long enough.”

Eiffel groans. “Hera? Can you confirm this?”

“I’m accessing the feeds of your room from last night, Lieutenant.”

Jacobi yelps. “How about!” he takes a deep breath. “How about you not, Hera. We’ll take your word for it, Commander.”

Maxwell laughs from the doorway. “Here’s your hair tie, Eiffel.” She throws it, and they all watch it’s slow arc through the room until it hits Eiffel’s nose. Maxwell turns on her heel and bounces away, Minkowski and Lovelace following a minute later. 

Eiffel slips the tie onto his wrist and glances up at the screen, frozen with a spot of Princess Leia shooting a dozen stormtroopers. “Still feeling up to the movie, love?”

“I’m always up for Star Wars,” Jacobi grins and kisses Eiffel, running his finger through his hair. 

**Author's Note:**

> heyheyheyhey i hope you liked it! 
> 
> (three minutes after the last scene here, an alarm is raised and jacobi and eiffel never get to finish the movie.)


End file.
